How I Resolved Debilitating Panic Attacks
Before I begin, please note that I’m using the word “Cure” here only in common vernacular. I am not a doctor, nor here to diagnose, prevent, treat or cure any disease, and that as always, I am here only to discuss what I did to resolve my panic attacks. A doctor’s advice should be sought at all times. I use the word “cure,” only because most people associate the word “cure” with “relief” and I am not claiming to have a cure for anything, at any time. I have only opinions on what I believe worked for me. That said:
I suffered from severe panic attacks for most of my life. They were of the debilitating, “non-reality” variety, not so much tied to specific situations that might cause stress. They became a defining part of who I was, and absolutely dictated my behavior and choices on a day to day basis.
Back when all of this started, the awareness of it was not nearly as wide-spread as it is now. It was not until later, after high school in my case, that the media began to cover the problem, as self-help gurus popped up offering programs to help people with the attacks.
I tried the programs, and everything else that was available at the time, and did achieve some level of success, but definitely not enough.
Eventually the problem would re-manifest, and I’d be left contending with it once again.
For me, the attacks were mostly unpredictable, and felt like I was awake inside a living nightmare. This is a literal translation of what my panic felt like. The worst part for me, is that there were long stretches, beginning as early as the summer of seventh grade, when they would not pass for literally weeks to on occasion months at a time. I would go to sleep often exhausted from the stress of it all, and wake up again feeling like I was living in some sort of warped alternate reality that resembled “normal” life, but had fearful perceptions that are almost impossible to describe. It was severe enough that I was often highly suicidal, getting through high school was almost impossible with lots of truancy, college was absolutely out, as were all except a core group of relationships. I was so fortunate to have close friends that I grew up with, and was liked enough in high school that I managed to survive it all, despite having very poor (only passing) grades.
I’d often hear “You’re so smart, why don’t you take school more seriously and stop f-ing off?”
My coping mechanism during much of this time was to have an aire of being a trouble-maker; the drop-out type who was into drugs, loud heavy music, smoking in the bathroom, etc. which served as a means for people to understand my constant absenteeism. After all, everyone would think that I was just one of those rebellious kids and it was part of the job description to skip class as often as possible. And getting caught doing anything wrong was something that I actually wanted to happen, because it would often result in suspensions from school, which took away the stress that school so often created in me.
Some kids even thought I was “cool” because of it, which was at the time a blessing in disguise, since it gave me the excuse to be able to use this way of coping with the problem as an *understandable* excuse…on at least some level, it made more sense than panic attacks did, which were basically unheard of at the time.
The reality was that I skipped because I often felt almost trapped in a classroom, often had panic attacks in class, and the only way to avoid the attacks to was to avoid many classes.
Even my closest friends often did not understand my behavior, and back then, a person certainly did not reveal, especially as a young man that needs to uphold a reputation in high school, that one is “afraid”…
…especially when that fear seems to amount to being afraid of “nothing,” beyond what my mind was doing to me.
I would skip school and often just go back in the fields that had bike trails and sit by myself, knowing life was passing me by, and not understanding why I would feel fear for no discernible reason at all. I would think about the relationships that I wished I could form with those I was attracted to, that were basically impossible due to the daily stresses I faced.
Doing my own thing was respected from the rebellious standpoint, but also isolating. Had I retreated much more than I already was, I surely would not have survived the times.
This of course carried over into my entire life, to the point of avoiding relationships for years at a time, basically dropping out of society at certain points for extended periods, and straining my family who knew I had the problem, but were at as much of a loss in how to deal with it as I was. I would go through phases of experiencing this panic syndrome, and the phases were unpredictable for my entire life. I could go for many months experiencing only occasional attacks, while having a very normal life during the rest of these panic-free phases.
Then it would rear its ugly head again, and I’d never know how long it would last.
Various anti-depressant medications were tried, since anxiety and depression are deemed by doctors to be virtually one/the same, which I never quite understood as I learned about it when I was much younger, but which now makes sense from a western medicine perspective. They were not only ineffective, but made things much worse to the point of near-suicide on two occasions.
It wasn’t until after I became very ill in 2005 that I was forced to pursue a whole new form of education in the area of alternative wellness, that in turn introduced me to lots of new concepts, one core one of which…candida…helped me find some relief from not only panic, but a myriad of other symptoms as well over time.
There is even a medical doctor on the west coast who specializes in panic attacks as his sole medical practice, and, has as his sole approach an anti-candida protocol.
There is something to it, since I can testify beyond any shadow of doubt, that when an anti-pathogen approach is taken, and perhaps specifically that of an anti-candida/fungus approach…results tend to happen.
At least they sure did for me.
I state that I am “99% cured.” I can almost state that it is 100%.
It took trying many different things, but most of what I was trying, with a specific focus on candida, helped enormously. More info at the link below:
Please contact me if you have any questions.